How to Deal with Abandonment Issues: A Complete Guide to Healing and Recovery
The persistent fear that loved ones will leave can create a painful cycle of anxiety, insecurity, and relationship struggles. If you find yourself constantly seeking reassurance, feeling overwhelmed by the thought of being alone, or pushing people away to avoid potential hurt, you’re not alone in this experience.
Abandonment issues affect millions of human beings and can profoundly impact your ability to form healthy relationships and maintain emotional well-being. The good news is that with the right understanding, coping strategies, and support, you can break free from these patterns and develop fulfilling relationships built on security and trust.
This comprehensive guide will walk you through everything you need to know about how to deal with abandonment issues effectively, from understanding their origins to implementing practical healing strategies that create lasting change.
Key Takeaways
- Abandonment issues stem from childhood trauma, neglect, or inconsistent caregiving and create deep-seated fear of rejection
- These issues manifest as anxiety, insecurity, trust difficulties, and self-sabotaging behaviors in adult relationships
- Healing requires acknowledging your own needs, practicing self compassion, and building secure attachment patterns
- Professional therapy, mindfulness practices, and healthy coping strategies are essential for recovery
- With consistent effort and support, you can overcome abandonment issues and build fulfilling relationships
Understanding Abandonment Issues: What They Are and How They Develop
Abandonment issues involve a persistent fear of being left alone, rejected, or undervalued by loved ones. Unlike normal relationship concerns, this intense fear often feels overwhelming and disproportionate to actual threats, significantly impacting daily functioning and mental health.
These deep seated fear patterns typically originate from past experiences where your emotional or physical safety felt threatened. Understanding the roots of abandonment trauma helps normalize your experience and provides a foundation for healing.
The Origins of Abandonment Fear
Abandonment issues most commonly develop during childhood when we’re most vulnerable and dependent on caregivers for survival. Several types of experiences can contribute to these patterns:
Physical abandonment occurs through actual separation from primary caregivers. This might include:
- Parental death, divorce, or separation
- Placement in foster care or adoption trauma
- Extended hospitalizations or prolonged absences
- Being left with relatives or caregivers inconsistently
Emotional abandonment happens when caregivers are physically present but emotionally unavailable or neglectful. Examples include:
- Parents struggling with mental health conditions like depression or anxiety
- Substance abuse that prevents consistent emotional availability
- Workaholic parents who prioritize career over family connection
- Emotionally distant or critical parenting styles
Inconsistent caregiving creates an unpredictable environment where a child never knows what to expect. This pattern includes:
- Parents who oscillate between being loving and rejecting
- Caregivers whose mood disorders create emotional instability
- Households with frequent conflict or domestic violence
- Mixed messages about love, safety, and worthiness
These early life experiences shape your attachment style - the unconscious blueprint for how you approach intimate relationships throughout your life.
Attachment Styles and Their Impact
Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby, explains how early relationships with caregivers form the foundation for future interpersonal relationships. When these early attachments are disrupted or inconsistent, insecure attachment styles develop that persist into adulthood.
Anxious attachment style develops when caregiving is inconsistent, leading to:
- Intense fear of abandonment in close relationships
- Tendency to seek excessive reassurance from partners
- Difficulty self-soothing when relationships feel threatened
- Hypervigilance for signs of rejection or withdrawal
Avoidant attachment styles form when emotional needs are consistently dismissed, resulting in:
- Difficulty with emotional intimacy and vulnerability
- Tendency to withdraw when relationships become too close
- Discomfort with depending on others or having others depend on you
- Suppression of emotional needs to maintain independence
Disorganized attachment styles emerge from traumatic or frightening experiences with caregivers, creating:
- Conflicting desires for closeness and distance
- Unpredictable emotional responses in relationships
- Difficulty regulating emotions during interpersonal stress
- Patterns that combine both anxious and avoidant behaviors
Understanding your attachment style provides insight into your relationship patterns and guides your healing journey toward developing secure attachment.
Recognizing the Signs: How Abandonment Issues Manifest in Daily Life
Learning to identify how abandonment fears show up in your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors is crucial for addressing them effectively. These patterns often feel automatic and can be difficult to recognize without conscious awareness.
Emotional and Psychological Symptoms
The constant fear of abandonment creates a state of chronic anxiety that affects your mental health in multiple ways:
Persistent anxiety about relationships dominates your thoughts, leading to:
- Excessive worry about loved ones leaving or losing interest
- Difficulty concentrating due to relationship preoccupations
- Physical symptoms like racing heart, sweating, or stomach upset
- Sleep disturbances from racing thoughts about relationship security
Low self esteem becomes a core feature, manifesting as:
- Believing you’re not worthy of love or commitment
- Comparing yourself negatively to others in your partner’s life
- Difficulty accepting compliments or positive feedback
- Internal critic that reinforces feelings of inadequacy
Intense emotions that feel overwhelming and hard to control:
- Extreme anxiety when loved ones are unavailable or distant
- Anger outbursts when feeling threatened or misunderstood
- Deep sadness and feeling lost when relationships feel unstable
- Emotional numbness as a defense against potential pain
Behavioral Patterns and Coping Mechanisms
Abandonment fears drive specific behaviors designed to prevent rejection, though they often backfire and create the very outcomes you’re trying to avoid:
People-pleasing behaviors become automatic responses:
- Saying yes to requests even when you don’t want to
- Suppressing your own needs to keep others happy
- Avoiding conflict at all costs to maintain harmony
- Giving excessively in relationships to “earn” love and loyalty
Hypervigilance for signs of rejection creates exhausting patterns:
- Constantly analyzing text messages for hidden meanings
- Monitoring your partner’s mood and behavior for changes
- Seeking reassurance repeatedly about the relationship status
- Misinterpreting neutral behaviors as signs of rejection
Self-sabotaging behaviors paradoxically push away the very people you want to keep close:
- Starting arguments to “test” whether someone will stay
- Withdrawing emotionally to protect yourself from potential hurt
- Creating drama or crisis to get attention and reassurance
- Ending relationships preemptively to avoid being abandoned
Trust and Communication Difficulties
Abandonment trauma significantly impacts your ability to trust others and communicate authentically in relationships:
Trust issues make vulnerability feel dangerous:
- Difficulty believing others’ commitments or declarations of love
- Tendency to expect betrayal or disappointment
- Requiring extensive “proof” of loyalty before feeling secure
- Jealousy and possessiveness that strain relationships
Communication barriers prevent genuine connection:
- Avoiding difficult conversations for fear of triggering abandonment
- Indirect communication that leads to misunderstandings
- Difficulty expressing needs directly for fear of being seen as “too much”
- Shutdown or emotional withdrawal during conflict
Understanding these patterns without judgment is the first step toward change. Remember that these behaviors developed as survival mechanisms to protect you from perceived threats, even if they no longer serve you well.
The Impact on Relationships: How Abandonment Issues Damage Connections
Abandonment fears create a self fulfilling prophecy where the very behaviors meant to prevent rejection actually push people away. Understanding this dynamic is crucial for breaking the cycle and learning to develop healthy relationships.
Creating Distance Through Fear-Based Behaviors
When you operate from abandonment fear, your actions often contradict your true desires for connection and intimacy. This creates confusion for both you and your loved ones:
Hypervigilance for signs of rejection leads to misreading situations:
- Interpreting a partner’s quiet mood as loss of interest
- Assuming cancelled plans mean relationship problems
- Reading negative intentions into neutral communications
- Creating conflict where none previously existed
Excessive reassurance-seeking becomes exhausting for others:
- Repeatedly asking “Do you still love me?” or “Are we okay?”
- Requiring constant validation about your worth and importance
- Demanding immediate responses to texts or calls
- Needing detailed explanations for time spent apart
Control behaviors emerge from the need to feel secure:
- Monitoring your partner’s activities, friendships, or social media
- Making demands about time and attention that feel restrictive
- Using guilt or emotional manipulation to prevent independence
- Creating rules or expectations that limit your partner’s autonomy
Communication Breakdown and Avoidance Patterns
Fear of triggering abandonment often leads to avoiding the very conversations that build emotional intimacy and resolve relationship issues:
Conflict avoidance prevents necessary growth:
- Suppressing legitimate concerns to “keep the peace”
- Agreeing with others even when you strongly disagree
- Avoiding discussions about relationship problems or needs
- Allowing resentment to build rather than addressing issues directly
Indirect communication creates confusion and distance:
- Hoping others will guess your needs without clear expression
- Using passive-aggressive behaviors instead of direct requests
- Dropping hints rather than having honest conversations
- Expecting partners to read your mind about emotional states
Emotional withdrawal as a protective mechanism:
- Shutting down during difficult conversations
- Pulling away when feeling vulnerable or exposed
- Using silent treatment as punishment for perceived slights
- Disconnecting to avoid potential rejection or abandonment
The Codependency Trap
Abandonment fears often lead to codependent dynamics where you lose your sense of self in an attempt to maintain relationships:
Identity fusion sacrifices your authentic self:
- Adopting your partner’s interests, opinions, or values exclusively
- Losing touch with your own needs, desires, and boundaries
- Defining your worth entirely through relationship status
- Abandoning friendships, hobbies, or goals to focus solely on romantic relationship
Unhealthy dependency creates imbalanced relationships:
- Relying entirely on your partner for emotional regulation
- Inability to make decisions without extensive input from others
- Fear of being alone that prevents personal growth
- Expecting others to be responsible for your happiness and security
Enabling destructive patterns in the name of love:
- Tolerating disrespectful or harmful behavior to avoid abandonment
- Making excuses for others’ poor treatment or boundary violations
- Giving up your needs to accommodate unhealthy relationship dynamics
- Staying in harmful situations because being alone feels more frightening
Breaking these patterns requires conscious effort and often professional guidance, but the result is the ability to form healthy connections based on mutual respect and authentic intimacy.
Practical Strategies for Healing Abandonment Issues
Learning how to deal with abandonment issues effectively requires a multi-faceted approach that addresses your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and relationships. These evidence-based strategies can help you build security from within and create healthier connections with others.
Prioritize Self-Care and Personal Needs
One of the most important steps in overcoming abandonment issues is learning to meet your own needs rather than depending entirely on others for emotional security and validation.
Develop consistent self care routines that build inner stability:
- Establish regular sleep schedules to support emotional regulation
- Maintain nutritious eating habits that stabilize mood and energy
- Engage in regular physical exercise to manage anxiety and stress
- Create calming bedtime rituals that promote restful sleep
Learn to identify and honor your own needs:
- Practice checking in with yourself throughout the day about your emotional state
- Keep a journal to track patterns in your needs, feelings, and triggers
- Develop a vocabulary for describing your emotions with nuance and specificity
- Set aside time daily for activities that bring you joy and fulfillment
Build a sense of internal security through self-nurturing practices:
- Practice positive self-talk and challenge harsh inner criticism
- Develop hobbies and interests that are meaningful to you personally
- Create a support network that extends beyond romantic relationships
- Celebrate your accomplishments and progress, no matter how small
Challenge Negative Thoughts and Belief Patterns
Abandonment trauma often creates negative beliefs about yourself, others, and relationships that need to be consciously examined and restructured.
Recognize that feelings are not facts:
- Practice observing your emotions without immediately acting on them
- Learn to tolerate uncertainty and anxiety without seeking immediate relief
- Develop the ability to experience emotions fully while maintaining perspective
- Remember that intense feelings, while valid, don’t always reflect objective reality
Replace catastrophic thinking with realistic alternatives:
- When you think “They’re going to leave me,” ask “What evidence supports this fear?”
- Challenge all-or-nothing thinking with more nuanced perspectives
- Practice generating multiple explanations for ambiguous situations
- Focus on what you know to be true rather than feared possibilities
Develop a gratitude practice to shift focus toward positive aspects:
- Write down three things you appreciate about your relationships daily
- Notice and acknowledge when loved ones show care and commitment
- Celebrate small gestures of love and connection rather than focusing on perceived threats
- Practice appreciating your own growth and healing efforts
Build Healthy Relationships and Communication Skills
Creating secure connections requires learning new ways of relating that promote intimacy while respecting boundaries and individual autonomy.
Practice direct, honest communication:
- Express your needs and feelings clearly rather than expecting others to guess
- Use “I” statements to take ownership of your emotions without blaming
- Ask for what you need directly instead of dropping hints or manipulating
- Share your fears and insecurities openly with trusted people who can provide support
Establish and maintain healthy boundaries:
- Learn to say no to requests that compromise your well-being
- Communicate your limits clearly and follow through consistently
- Respect others’ boundaries even when they feel disappointing
- Practice self compassion when boundary-setting feels difficult or scary
Choose relationships based on mutual respect and compatibility:
- Look for partners and friends who support your authentic self
- Avoid relationships where you feel you must hide your true feelings or needs
- Prioritize emotional safety and consistent respect over excitement or intensity
- Take time to evaluate relationship patterns rather than rushing into commitment
Develop emotional regulation skills for handling relationship stress:
- Practice deep breathing and grounding techniques during difficult conversations
- Learn to take breaks during conflict to prevent emotional overwhelm
- Develop strategies for self-soothing that don’t depend on others
- Use mindfulness to stay present rather than catastrophizing about the future
Heal Your Inner Child and Process Trauma
Much of abandonment healing involves reparenting yourself and providing the emotional security that may have been missing in childhood.
Practice inner child work to heal old wounds:
- Write letters to your younger self offering compassion and validation
- Use visualization to imagine comforting yourself during difficult childhood experiences
- Practice giving yourself the love and acceptance you needed as a child
- Develop internal dialogues that are nurturing rather than critical
Learn nervous system regulation techniques:
- Practice progressive muscle relaxation to release physical tension
- Use cold exposure, movement, or breathing exercises to reset your nervous system
- Develop awareness of your body’s stress signals and early intervention strategies
- Create a toolkit of grounding techniques for moments of intense anxiety
Process traumatic experiences constructively:
- Consider writing unsent letters to those who hurt you to express unprocessed emotions
- Practice forgiveness as a gift to yourself rather than a requirement
- Work to integrate difficult experiences as part of your story without letting them define you
- Seek therapy specifically for trauma processing when self-help feels insufficient
Develop a coherent narrative about your past and its impact:
- Work to understand how your experiences shaped your attachment style and relationship patterns
- Practice self compassion for the survival strategies you developed as a child
- Recognize the strength and resilience you’ve demonstrated in surviving difficult circumstances
- Focus on how your experiences can inform your healing rather than define your limitations
Professional Treatment Options for Abandonment Issues
While self-help strategies are valuable, professional guidance often provides the structured support and specialized techniques needed for deeper healing of abandonment trauma.
Individual Therapy Approaches
Several therapeutic modalities have proven particularly effective for addressing abandonment issues and developing secure attachment patterns:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns:
- Helps recognize automatic thoughts that fuel abandonment fears
- Teaches techniques for challenging and restructuring catastrophic beliefs
- Provides tools for managing anxiety and emotional reactivity
- Develops healthy coping strategies for relationship stress and uncertainty
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is especially helpful for those with intense emotions and self-destructive behaviors:
- Teaches distress tolerance skills for managing overwhelming feelings
- Provides interpersonal effectiveness training for healthier relationship communication
- Develops emotional regulation techniques to reduce reactivity
- Particularly beneficial for those whose abandonment issues include self harm or extreme emotional swings
Attachment-based therapy specifically addresses insecure attachment styles:
- Explores how early relationships shaped current relationship patterns
- Helps develop earned secure attachment through the therapeutic relationship
- Focuses on building trust, intimacy, and healthy dependence
- Provides corrective emotional experiences that heal attachment wounds
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) effectively processes traumatic abandonment experiences:
- Helps integrate traumatic memories that contribute to abandonment fears
- Reduces the emotional charge of past abandonment experiences
- Particularly useful when abandonment issues stem from specific traumatic events
- Can accelerate healing by addressing trauma at the neurological level
Group Therapy and Support Systems
Connection with others who share similar experiences can provide powerful healing and reduce the isolation that often accompanies abandonment issues:
Group therapy offers unique benefits for abandonment healing:
- Provides opportunities to practice healthy relationship skills in a safe environment
- Reduces shame and isolation by connecting with others who understand your struggles
- Offers multiple perspectives and coping strategies from peers
- Creates a microcosm for practicing trust, vulnerability, and secure attachment
Support groups specifically focused on attachment or relationship issues:
- Often more accessible and affordable than individual therapy
- Provides ongoing support and accountability for healing goals
- Creates community connections that extend beyond the group meetings
- Offers hope by connecting with others at different stages of recovery
When to Seek Professional Help
Consider reaching out for professional guidance when:
- Self-help strategies aren’t providing sufficient relief or progress
- Abandonment fears are significantly impacting your ability to function in relationships, work, or daily life
- You’re experiencing symptoms of depression, anxiety, or other mental health conditions alongside abandonment issues
- You have thoughts of self harm or suicide related to relationship fears
- You’re struggling with substance abuse as a way to cope with abandonment anxiety
- You feel stuck in repeating patterns despite your best efforts to change
Remember that seeking therapy is a sign of strength and self-awareness, not weakness or failure.
Supporting Someone with Abandonment Issues
If someone you care about struggles with abandonment fears, your support can play a crucial role in their healing journey. However, it’s important to maintain healthy boundaries while offering compassion and understanding.
Providing Consistent, Reliable Support
Be consistent and reliable in your words and actions:
- Follow through on commitments and promises consistently
- Maintain regular contact and communication patterns
- Avoid making promises you’re not certain you can keep
- Show up physically and emotionally when you say you will
Offer reassurance regularly while avoiding enabling dependency:
- Validate their feelings without necessarily accommodating all demands for reassurance
- Provide gentle reminders of your care and commitment during difficult times
- Be patient with their need for repeated reassurance while gradually encouraging self-soothing
- Celebrate their progress and strength rather than focusing only on their struggles
Practice active listening without trying to fix or minimize their experience:
- Listen to understand rather than to respond or solve problems
- Avoid minimizing their fears by saying things like “you’re being irrational”
- Ask questions that help them explore their feelings rather than dismissing them
- Provide empathy while maintaining your own emotional boundaries
Setting Healthy Boundaries
Avoid common triggers when possible while maintaining authenticity:
- Give advance notice when plans change rather than canceling last minute
- Respond to communications in a timely manner when feasible
- Be clear about your availability and limitations rather than making assumptions
- Avoid behaviors that might trigger their abandonment fears unnecessarily
Set gentle boundaries when requests become overwhelming:
- Be honest about your own needs and limitations
- Offer alternative forms of support when you can’t provide what they’re asking for
- Maintain compassion while refusing to take responsibility for their emotional regulation
- Encourage professional help when their needs exceed what you can reasonably provide
Model healthy relationship behaviors:
- Demonstrate how to communicate needs directly and respectfully
- Show them what healthy boundaries look like in practice
- Maintain your own self care and personal relationships
- Avoid sacrificing your well-being to accommodate their fears
Encouraging Professional Help
Support their healing journey without trying to be their therapist:
- Encourage therapy or counseling while respecting their autonomy to make that choice
- Offer to help them research therapists or support groups if they’re interested
- Validate the courage it takes to seek help and begin healing
- Continue your support while they’re in therapy rather than assuming professional help replaces your role
Remember that you cannot heal someone else’s abandonment issues through love alone, and attempting to do so often creates codependent dynamics that harm both of you.
Long-Term Recovery: Building Secure Attachment
Healing abandonment issues is a gradual process that requires patience, self compassion, and consistent effort over time. Understanding what long-term recovery looks like can help you maintain hope and motivation during challenging periods.
Understanding the Healing Timeline
Recovery from abandonment trauma rarely follows a linear path, and it’s important to have realistic expectations about the healing journey:
Initial awareness and stabilization (first 3-6 months):
- Developing understanding of your patterns and triggers
- Learning basic emotional regulation and self-soothing techniques
- Beginning to challenge negative thought patterns
- Establishing therapy or support systems if needed
Active healing and skill building (6 months to 2 years):
- Processing underlying trauma that contributes to abandonment fears
- Developing healthier communication and relationship skills
- Building internal security and self-worth
- Practicing new behaviors in relationships with increasing confidence
Integration and maintenance (ongoing):
- Incorporating new patterns into your daily life and relationships
- Continuing personal growth and self-awareness practices
- Managing occasional triggers or setbacks with effective coping strategies
- Supporting others or giving back to the community in your healing journey
Developing Internal Security
The ultimate goal of abandonment healing is developing secure attachment - the ability to maintain a positive sense of self and others even during relationship challenges.
Build self-reliance without isolation:
- Develop confidence in your ability to handle emotions and challenges independently
- Maintain close relationships while preserving your individual identity
- Practice being alone without feeling anxious or abandoned
- Cultivate interests, goals, and sources of meaning beyond romantic relationships
Develop distress tolerance for relationship uncertainty:
- Learn to stay present during moments of relationship anxiety
- Practice accepting that some uncertainty is normal and healthy in relationships
- Develop faith in your ability to handle whatever happens in relationships
- Focus on what you can control rather than trying to control outcomes
Create a more positive future through intentional choices:
- Choose relationships and life paths that align with your values and authentic self
- Practice gratitude and optimism while maintaining realistic expectations
- Build a life that feels meaningful and fulfilling independent of relationship status
- Develop wisdom about relationship patterns and red flags to avoid
Maintaining Progress and Preventing Relapse
Continue therapy sessions or support group participation even after significant improvement:
- Regular check-ins can help maintain progress and address new challenges
- Therapy can provide ongoing support during major life transitions
- Professional guidance helps prevent regression during stressful periods
- Continued growth and self-awareness remain valuable throughout life
Develop a personal growth mindset:
- View challenges as opportunities for learning rather than threats
- Practice self compassion during setbacks or difficult periods
- Maintain curiosity about your patterns and reactions rather than judgment
- Celebrate progress while remaining committed to ongoing growth
Build and maintain healthy social relationships:
- Cultivate friendships and family relationships that support your authentic self
- Practice vulnerability and intimacy in safe relationships
- Maintain connections that provide mutual support and enjoyment
- Continue learning about healthy relationship dynamics and communication
Frequently Asked Questions
Can abandonment issues be completely overcome?
Yes, with consistent therapy, self-work, and support, abandonment issues can be significantly healed. Recovery involves developing secure attachment patterns and building confidence in relationships. While triggers may occasionally arise, you can learn healthy coping strategies to manage them effectively. Many people successfully move from anxious attachment styles to secure attachment style with dedicated effort and appropriate support.
Why do I have abandonment issues if I was never physically abandoned?
Emotional abandonment through neglect, inconsistent caregiving, or invalidation can be just as traumatic as physical abandonment. Witnessing family disruptions like divorce, addiction, or mental illness creates insecurity about relationships. An anxious attachment style can develop from unpredictable emotional availability from caregivers. Childhood emotional experiences shape adult fears more than specific abandonment events, and emotional neglect often has lasting impacts on your sense of security and self-worth.
How long does it take to heal from abandonment issues?
Healing timelines vary based on the severity of trauma, available support, and consistency of treatment. Most people see improvements within 6-12 months of consistent therapy and self-work. Significant progress often occurs within 1-3 years of dedicated healing efforts. Recovery is a gradual process, and maintaining healthy relationships requires continued self-awareness and practice. Remember that healing isn’t a destination but an ongoing journey of personal growth and improved relationship skills.
What’s the difference between normal relationship anxiety and abandonment issues?
Normal anxiety is situational and manageable, while abandonment issues create persistent, overwhelming fear that interferes with daily functioning and damages multiple relationships. The fear is disproportionate to actual threats and based on past trauma rather than current reality. Abandonment issues typically involve extreme anxiety, constant need for reassurance, and self-sabotaging behaviors that push people away. Professional help is recommended when anxiety consistently impacts your wellbeing and relationships or when you find yourself unable to trust or maintain healthy connections.
Can abandonment issues affect my physical health?
Yes, chronic anxiety and stress from abandonment fears can cause headaches, insomnia, and digestive issues. Heightened stress hormones weaken immune function and increase inflammation throughout the body. Unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse or self harm create additional health risks. The constant state of hypervigilance and emotional reactivity associated with abandonment trauma puts significant strain on your nervous system. Addressing abandonment issues through therapy and self care improves both mental health and physical wellbeing by reducing chronic stress and promoting healthier lifestyle choices.
Healing from abandonment issues is one of the most courageous journeys you can undertake. While the path isn’t always easy, millions of people have successfully overcome abandonment fears and built the secure, fulfilling relationships they deserve. Remember that seeking support is a sign of strength, and every small step you take toward healing creates a more positive future for yourself and your relationships.
Your healing journey starts with acknowledging these patterns and committing to change. Whether through self-help strategies, professional therapy, or support from loved ones, you have the power to overcome abandonment issues and create the secure, loving connections you’ve always wanted.